I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
