no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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