woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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