Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
