yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
