i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
