You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
