This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
