i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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