Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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