she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
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Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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