somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I puked a lego.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
handjob tips. give me some.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
