never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
