he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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