i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
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She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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