My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
