just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize