does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
