maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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