His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
