Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
