i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
