Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
