GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
