ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
