spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
