It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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