I hate your face
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
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No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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