I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i was born a porn star she said
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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