Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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