Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
