addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want to make a zoo with you.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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