What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
