If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
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