This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
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I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
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Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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