you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
