Im at strip club and am horny
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
