No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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