i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I love you. Go after that dick
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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