Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
