best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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