Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize