I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
