shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
