Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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