I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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