Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
A bitchslap is in order.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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