Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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