he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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