He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
