HIV tests are more positive than that guy
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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