That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
