kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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