It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
