So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
