Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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