Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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