I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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