i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
