How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
