that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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