is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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